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Not Lost

by GoldWolf

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1.
WE ARE THE PUMICE We three let out a yell, our voices echo thru hell and from the darkness something answers our call its voice pierces our souls, drags us down the rabbit hole and I know that we are going back home back home, back home... leaning down and looking in, I tear away my skin cuz I know they don't let no human kind in our spines fill with needles and pins, our bat wings are growing in, the faces of my best friends are glowing eyes and toothy grins, our howling laughter carries in the wind see that familiar glow, hell's fires burning low, but the warmth in our hearts you know it only grows consumed in living night, it burns away our fright and I know that we are going back home back home,back home... WE ARE THE PUMICE! WE’RE ONE WITH THE EARTH! WE’LL EMERGE FROM THE ABYSS! BUT SOMEDAY WE’LL RETURN! Demon laughter plays in the breeze, lapped up by the tentacle trees, I love them and I know they love me surrounded by life and death, our chests are still full of breath, together we wander into the darkest depths Not lost but in control, three powerful demon souls, with love for the forest you know our hearts are full these friends I know are mine, across the plains of space and time, yeah I know that we will always find, our way back home, back home WE ARE THE PUMICE! WE’RE ONE WITH THE EARTH! WE’LL EMERGE FROM THE ABYSS! BUT SOMEDAY WE’LL RETURN!
2.
Homesteady 04:12
yeah I realized if I close my eyes, I can track a whisper all the way into the back of my mind I find my ghosts rest there, dreaming of yesteryear how they yearn, passions burn, within me, learn to see through the endless vaults of time their memories, perhaps once mine, embodying limitless divine designs and I'm listening closely to all of their stories, each living and dying under nature's glory I can still feel the mud between my toes the primal wind filling my nose instead of one of the damned, yeah we were one with the land and the sun was our savior, creator I savor her warmth without failure with all the plants and all the animals, who give us everything we'd ever need and we'd never take more 'cause we know in our cores that we are all the same but in this life I feel shame for my species is to blame for our mother nature's pain where along our paths were we lead astray? our link to our world allowed to decay we tell ourselves its okay but were slipping away more every day see we're headed in the wrong direction with every election, yeah we're an infection forget natural selection, we've almost lost connection to nature's affection we must ask ourselves what have we done?! we're digging our own hole, spinning out of control on the road to extinction the weight on my mind brings visions of annihilation but I’m not ready for a clean slate yet when I’ve seen love and beauty infiltrate our police state, I cant let the man narrate my fate I’ll contemplate the memories that predate me for they resonate with the world i wish to recreate I see a life with my family among the trees the birds the bees, living free, an active part of reality you know ill only use these hands to build a stead that will always stand, as a slice of old-time land our own paradise, no one can offer any price, ill scoff at his dollar this is my land and i know my rights I’ll fight for my home, every stick every stone, and when im grey and grown here I’ll rest my bones and the best part is I know I’m never alone, together we'll forge the unknown
3.
Undeniable unavoidable constantly it surrounds us Why pretend time isn’t fleeting, like this isn’t our only chance Every being that’s existed before us knows the answers That last breath’s been exhaled by all of our ancestors Your story book hero’s never found escape Their endings left untold wether sudden or slow, you know A dead end concludes everybody’s road. Well I often contemplate that moment The “oh shit, is this really it?” Will time slow down, will pain receptors quit? will I have time to stay and say my good byes before my memories flash behind my empty eyes? Will I be reunited with loved ones who’ve died? Will I finally be set free from my anxiety? Or will panic and pain just fade into nothingness? Consciousness ceasing like I’m passed out drunk again My only afterlife’s the memories in my friends and enemies The momentum of my existence composting back into the earth My carbon finds it way back to the stars where it was birthed! Yeah DMT released in my brain sends me into the next dimension Plunged into brilliant colors and patterns I can perceive without vision Feel a connection with out nerves to everything around me in the universe Will I feel the purpose of my existence? Will suddenly this all make some sense? But for now we’re stuck corporeally in this objective reality A glorious frustrating at times terrifying place to be From the wonders of nature To the greed of corporate swine We’re drowning in riddles but we all know the punchline...not one of us will ever make it out this world alive!
4.
There’s poison in the well (The waters dried up) We can’t afford the sun (No fucking windows) A ghost in a broken shell (Why pretend to live?) Only one thing left undone Burn their towers to the ground! Disassemble your right to complacency Time to abandon your path of conformity Lose your patience cuz time it is all you have left And the clock is ticking so goddamn fast! There’s poison in the well (The waters dried up) We can’t afford the sun (No fucking windows) A ghost in a broken shell (Why pretend to live?) Only one thing left undone Burn their towers to the ground! And their spires are dripping with filthy blood Down into the freshest graves of deadly departed slaves In the mire, the sick and encumbered mud Lie the best that you’ve ever met as the last stones are being set! There’s poison in the well (The waters dried up) We can’t afford the sun (No fucking windows) A ghost in a broken shell (Why pretend to live?) Only one thing left undone Burn their towers to the ground!
5.
I had a dream that you and I were brothers Symbiotically we shared life as our goal I’m a symbol of the land that you loved as our mother So you left me here to return to the soil But as I awoke the sky broke into thunder Hell’s giant buzzing insects sent to kill They’ll chase us down our land they’ll rape and plunder With no regard for us or natures will You know, we all ache the same We feel love and we feel pain I remember your metal rain I’ll never see my family again, never again Aren’t you sympathetic to the beauty that resides here? I take one last glimpse as we are forced to run You won’t stop until my kind have all but disappeared I’m forced to watch hell copter steal all my loved ones The will to survive burns yet we can’t turn and fight you We see a future but your species seem so blind You can break our bodies but our spirits rise anew With our homeland our story’s intertwined As long as the river’s still running our hearts are still pumping, the trees are still growing our lungs they still breathe Well I am still dying, I’m dying to live! You know, we all yearn to be free To save our home and family I remember your metal beast So I’ll run into the trees Run for the trees!
6.
Beetle Pit! 01:08
Tweaker gunna trespass on our land? Beetle pit! Pig thinks I'm gunna shake his fucking hand? Beetle pit! I heard you just threatening my friend! Beetle pit! Comcast van here, he wants us on the grid. Beetle pit! Neo-nazi flying confederate flags? Beetle pit! I heard you call our trans neighbor a hag! Beetle pit! Pig thinks he can shoot my fucking dogs? Beetle pit! You'll never find us following your laws! Beetle pit! (Flesh-eating beetles are kept to clean animal bones. And more.)
7.
Lost in this world my thoughts start to hurl theres no answers in sight I’m losing my mind I just wanna hide from these demons inside I can make a choice but its hard to avoid this goddamn little voice that says enter the void it says with just one sip fears loosen their grip and then two drinks inside start to quiet your mind now three swigs from the glass to laugh and to dance you’ll find joy and romance by the time you drink five leave your worries behind you won’t have to hide again memories drain an escape from yourself let the spirits take over call it self help SIX SICK SIPS flow past my lips into my core won’t be feeling no more it’lll drown out my pain this festering darkness inside that’s driving me insane but the promises made were only just lies I realize as my light starts to fade the ghost in the bottle resides in my mind there’s nowhere to hide it fucked up my life now I wanna die I try to refrain but it’s altered my brain it’s just one little sip and I feel so equipped to deal now I start to slip it’s a comforting grip the spirit takes control it’s in me once more poison flows through my veins I am not the same possessed speaking in tongues spitting fire at loved ones this dark energy clouding all I see spinning on endlessly at least I am free from me temporarily then I’ll forget feeling holes in my organs sickness and regret but I’ll drown out those feelings do it again SIX SICK SIPS flow past my lips into my core won’t be feeling no more it’lll drown out my pain this festering darkness inside that’s driving me insane but the promises made were only just lies I realize as my light starts to fade the ghost in the bottle resides in my mind there’s nowhere to hide I fucked up my life now I wanna die
8.
The sickness spreads taking control of me Greedy plague tentacles are all I see The darkness spreads festering in my head If it ruptures in my brain then I’ll be dead The tensions almost more than I can take I may not still be here when you wake I’ll try to hang on til the morning but I feel it calling from the other side still you know I dream of crackin 40s feelin the mutha fuckin sun shine So if I’m not still here when you wake just know that I’ve had more than I can take I’m so over all this human strife deep in the forest the end of my life yeah I’ll be swingin from some ancient tree only the crows will ever find me But we both made it to the morning we were almost chillin on the other side but we’re still here and crackin 40s feelin the mutha fuckin sun shine I know it’s hard enough just to survive but I’m so fuckin glad we’re still alive yooooo
9.
Forest Eyes 03:28
Oh your forest eyes, emerald skies Like a cool glade in the summertime I'll dive into the swimming hole You sooth my aching soul You've seen my rage and felt my pain Built shelter in the hurricane You've wiped my tears and cleaned my blood You've built our boat before the flood Oh your forest eyes, emerald skies You can pause time and ease my mind Ill follow you thru the end of days You always find the way You're strength in silence, passion in calm Steady hands to dismantle the bomb There is a bunker in your chest Where I can finally rest
10.
Scrap the city, tear it down Let's repurpose this whole town Fuck this shit and start a new Let's build a world for me and you We got a heart we got a brain we find this capitalist world insane rip it apart… it's been tearing at the seams their tv's silencing the screams for far too long So you n I hitch down the road we got our bags and dog in tow heading to town…. but little did they know we packed Molotovs ready to throw we got our wrenches and our crowbars, tear it down! Scrap the city, watch it burn Once again it's nature's turn Embers sparkle in your eyes Like stars returning to the sky You and I dance in the ash watching the banks go in a flash of blazing fire… when the coppers came around they pulled their guns to shoot us down but our dog's ripping at their throats till they expire. As we watch the skyline fall we picture forests growing tall under the moon… when the stars they can be seen above the rolling farmlands green, but is this hope thats in my heart growing too soon? Cuz there's still millions of cities like scars on the landscape From fascists and money there may be no escape while the last of the old growth forests fall billions of humans like parasites crawl to blacken the water, cement the land poison the air, til none of us stand Consume, reproduce, we pollute and destroy Just waiting for nuclear war to deploy But then I remember earthquakes! hurricanes! wildfire! flash flood rains! volcanos! blizzard snows! Once again the trees will grow! Scrap the city, tear it down To our earth we all are bound We can live in harmony The sky the trees, just you and me
11.
Hail Nothing 03:44
The only place I feel at home's among the desolate hills where I know no shod feet left trails, through the grass the sunlight spills morning light fills the sky away with the night feeling my apathy die it's a natural high, mother nat(ure) always revives my will to survive… hail the barren mountain sides perpetually eroding in this rain feel it wash away our pain, abstain from my disdain for this world as reality's unfurled, my race doesn't rule over this place yeah I savor this little taste, land unsoiled by human waste... hail the immortal sea we're humbled in it's vast immensity monstrous intensity, the waves incomprehensibly deep endlessly embracing the cold beach spread out empty, engulfing me lungs full of the mighty westerly, it's vigor and vitality, fills my arteries, temporarily detach me from humanity… Hail Nothing (Desolation)! hail the old growth forest, expansive enormous, immerse us in creation harmonious sensation an interrelation with ancient arboreal souls on their kind we took our toll but here their roots stay steadfast in the soil life giving lungs of the earth, death here decays into rebirth... hail the endless desert ancient rocks slowly give way to flowing sand only the tenacious stand treacherous tribulations of this land circling on high the buzzard's sharp eye sees my energy, my carbon encompassed in oblivion reality begins to sink in… hail the winter sky, the darkness of night washes over the trees, allows us to see a place veiled in mystery, where we came from and where we'll return theres an earnestly and a purity in a land enveloped by snow hearing the cold silence grow louder than our cluttered chaotic minds feel it severing our ties from the human world so shrouded in lies… Hail Nothing (Desolation)!
12.
Deer Smear 05:10
Where wet grass Meets black tar Your death machine Leaves deep scars This forest Was my home Now my blood Paints your chrome My body disfigured My soul brings the plague One dark storm starts the fall One thousand burning flags The dark dawn We grow strong Your flames quenched Your sick stench Your sirens Your violence Your silence Our solace At long last she may rest You’ve no wars left to wage One species is sacrificed To turn the wretched page The ancient stone where I roam Through the sands of time Will not hear your groveling But remembers your crimes The black spring No bells ring Your bodies Feed rich earth Your silence Our solace Extinction Brings peace Silence Solace Extinction Release
13.

credits

released October 22, 2020

All songs (excluding "Hands that Mold") written, performed, recorded, and mixed by GoldWolf in their cabin and home in the woods of Central Oregon.

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GoldWolf Oregon

Hailing from the woods of Oregon, GoldWolf is a married couple that is committed to sharing their ethics of ecological anarchism and sustainable agriculture. All songs have been recorded DIY on their off-grid homestead using sustainable energy sources.

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